Things I"ve learned from our marriage so far...

A lot of people have said that the first year of marriage can be the toughest......

As I read my various friend's daily posts on facebook about how "wonderful and amazing" their husbands are.....posting pictures of flowers they got "Just because" or how they came home to "a 5 course meal, sparkling house, oh they won the lottery today. Love my snookums!" (Okay maybe that's an exaggeration.) But I can't help but to think. "Yeah right! What planet is your husband from?" Of course I'm a pessimistic person by nature so there may actually be men like this out there. I just haven't met them yet.  Also I should state that I love Kyle with everything I am and he is an amazing man who, on most occasions can be quite charming. I"m not writing this to complain, I'm not angry with your posts, and I'm not angry at Kyle. I'm just exploring the topic of marriage from my own (flowerless) perspective. 

My life goes more like this:

I come home at night after working 10 hours, not feeling well because I"ve had an ear infection all week. I change to my pj's and sit down to check my email. Then I hear Kyle say "So, what's for dinner?" It's 8pm and he's been home all day. With that comment, the dirty laundry is staring at me, the dog that has needed a bath for days is in my face, and I start to silently fume. The last thing I feel like doing is argue so I just tell him I'm not hungry. He reminds me that we are on a diet and we need to eat supper to keep up with the plan. I say the famous "Well I don't care what we have" and then escape to the shower for some peace. As I"m getting out, I smell something coming from the kitchen. I eat my noodles in silence and then head to bed. 

Things I"ve learned from marriage:

-Men cannot read your mind, and 99% of the time do not get your hints. You must explain things clearly.

-If you explain things clearly, or leave lists it's perceived as nagging and bossy. 

-Either way there is usually an argument that follows. 

Now it seems like we argue a lot- mainly because we do argue a lot. We argue about food, we argue about who's not listening to the other one, we argue about laundry, we argue about visiting family, we argue about things we forget, we argue about kids we don't have, we argue about house hunting...the list goes on. 

Things I"ve learned from marriage:
-Arguing (disagreeing and passionately stating our sides of things) is okay.

-Fighting (screaming irrelevant, hurtful things at each other) is not okay.

-Praying, listening and putting yourself in the other person's shoes is when a solution usually occurs. 

Oh and

- Men don't actually pee on the toilet, the amazing man-power at which the stream enters the toilet causes it to splash on the side, the lid, the floor, etc. 

-Men can also scrub toilets. 

All of this to say: 

Marriage is tough! I don't know how the rest of the years will go. But I do know I can't wait to find out! All of the dirty laundry and the arguments cannot compare to the laughter, the unending love and joy you get from marrying your best friend. 

My really close friends, and especially my sister know how "creative" my taste in clothes and accessories can be.  

Even as a child I have always had an interesting view on fashion...

Dress up was one of my favorite games. My sister, cousin, and I would wear hats, and mom's old jewelry, and have a ball pretending we were princesses and having tea parties. My mom bought old bridesmaid dresses with huge puff sleeves for us to play dress up in. We walked around the house like we were straight off the runway. 

This is a picture from Halloween in Junior High. Brandi and I found these green knit pants in my great grandma's house after she passed and we were sorting through her things. We wore them for pajamas every night for months. I'm pretty sure my mom finally burned them. 

In high school, I wore all kinds of bright obnoxious accessories, concert tees, and my favorite pink Chuck Taylors, adorned with my own artwork covering the bottom. When most of my friends were wearing American Eagle and Gap I had braces, bad hair, and nerd written all over me.  Kyle's favorite memory of me in high school is when I was skipping down the hall by myself singing "Sadie Hawkins Dance" by Relient K. He said I was weird back then. I can't argue that. 

 My family says, if it's ugly, Jill will like it. It started with my moccasins. Yes, you know which ones. I found my moccasins several years ago at a rummage sale for $2 thinking they were the most awesome shoes I've ever seen. I"ve worn them ever since and somewhere along the line, they caught on and now I see them on feet everywhere. They're still my favorite pair.

Today, I've been prancing around my house in trousers. I mean, pleated, loose, capri trousers. I got them from Old Navy for $6 thinking..."I could make these work."  I can just hear my family saying, "Jill those look ugly." And as I'm walking around Kyle is still giving me the "You are weird look".  I guess some things just never change......

House Hunting in my Dreams

Since we've decided to starting looking for our "Dream Home", I have been literally dreaming of homes.

We looked at a house we really liked that had 16 acres with it. We loved the property, but it was an older house, that we had a few concerns about so we had our dad's come over and look. After a close inspection we weighed the pros/cons and decided with all the "what if's" and updating this house needed, we would have to lower the price quite a bit to make up for it. As we were weighing it over in our minds that night, I fell asleep and woke up remembering this dream:
We had bought a huge blue house (on the same property we had been looking at with the 16 acres) and we were moving our things into the house and trying to dream up a plan to make the rooms work the way we wanted them to. There was a huge basement (which the house didn't have) and all the rooms were changing while we were trying to fit things in, We couldn't get our furniture in and our parents were there trying to help and be encouraging and it just wasn't working with the space we had. 
When I woke up, I looked again at all the pictures of the house and without telling Kyle my dream, we decided we didn't love the house enough to go through the trouble of all the updating it needed. We decided to let the property go, not make an offer, and keep looking. I'm still glad we made that decision.

I just woke up from a nap where I had a rather amusing dream:
I was in the living room of our house a few years down the road. We had a huge St. Bernard dog named Beethoven. He was laying on the couch on his back and I was petting his belly. He got off the couch and looked at me and then looked at his own back. So I hopped on like it was completely normal. We rode around the living room, which had a big fireplace.  Kyle poked his head in the door. He gave me a look like, "Aren't you a little old for that?" I replied to his look by shrugging my shoulders and saying, "What? I still fit."  He laughed at me and went on about his business. 
When I woke up, I told Kyle this and he said it didn't sound like a dream, it sounded like real life. I said then it must be a sign......... So we are adding a fireplace and enough space for Beethoven to our wish list. :)