Love and Grace in Marriage

We are doing a great series at church called "Sex and Freedom"  We were snowed in last week and all the Onelifers joined in our living rooms and watched the sermon online.  (Check it out here. Sex & Freedom Part 3)
In the sermon, our campus pastor spoke about a marriage that leaves a legacy. A legacy that your children and grandchildren can look to. In a world where marriage is thrown about haphazardly and a lasting marriage is not the norm, that is a high calling. A calling that each of us who have taken vows in the sight of God have.
One way he said to do this was giving grace and being selfless in your marriage.

Easier said than done. Especially when the sound of him clearing his throat causes you to roll your eyes and he complains weekly about the hair left in the drain. I know there are so many issues, big issues, hard issues that married couples are facing. I'm not a counselor so I am going to be vague and stick with the small, everyday situations. But be assured, there is no issue that God cannot heal and wants to heal if you let Him.

 I think marriage is a daily commitment. To have a legacy leaving marriage, it's a commitment to show love and grace each day. My friend and I decided we wanted to be more selfless and show more grace in our marriages. The problem was, we don't really know where to start. I decided to brainstorm some simple, practical ways we can do this.
Here goes:

First, I think attitude can go a long way here. Before you are able to act out love, and show love in a selfless way, you need to refocus your attitude away from yourself and to your partner.
Remember when you were dating and you thought about them constantly? I know it's hard, but think back. You hung on their every word and talked for hours. They sneezed and you thought it was cute. In all that lovey dovey fog, you overlook small things. Things like how they were messy or forgetful. Over time that fog lifts and those things become annoying. We forget to be courteous. We stop listening and things get stale.

 Let your attitude start over and begin anew. 

-Give them a compliment. Strive to be kind to them.
-Physical affection. At my house, before ranting about outside issues, we say "I need a hug." After a hug, it I"m usually more relaxed and able to talk out.
-Surprise them with a small gift or their favorite food.
-LISTEN.  LISTEN. LISTEN.
-Encourage their hobbies and take interest in them.
-PRAY for them. Everyday.
-Give them space and solo time to do hobbies or hang with friends.
-Help them with a chore that they don't love to do.
-Forgive them when they do something that you don't agree with.
-Take care of yourself.
-Patience
-Do a date night and have an actual conversation.
-Turn off your phones and distractions.

1 Corinthians 13 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

These verses are used over and over for weddings. To some, they may sound romantic, but when I think of it- they really say "love is hard work" We are not perfect and it is impossible to be perfect. But God's love is patient and keeps no record of wrongs. We cannot do marriage on our own. We need God to guide us, to love us, and show us how to be selfless. From His example we can strive to love our spouse, seeing them as God sees them.

Feel free to brainstorm your own ideas in the comment section.