Things I"ve learned from our marriage so far...

A lot of people have said that the first year of marriage can be the toughest......

As I read my various friend's daily posts on facebook about how "wonderful and amazing" their husbands are.....posting pictures of flowers they got "Just because" or how they came home to "a 5 course meal, sparkling house, oh they won the lottery today. Love my snookums!" (Okay maybe that's an exaggeration.) But I can't help but to think. "Yeah right! What planet is your husband from?" Of course I'm a pessimistic person by nature so there may actually be men like this out there. I just haven't met them yet.  Also I should state that I love Kyle with everything I am and he is an amazing man who, on most occasions can be quite charming. I"m not writing this to complain, I'm not angry with your posts, and I'm not angry at Kyle. I'm just exploring the topic of marriage from my own (flowerless) perspective. 

My life goes more like this:

I come home at night after working 10 hours, not feeling well because I"ve had an ear infection all week. I change to my pj's and sit down to check my email. Then I hear Kyle say "So, what's for dinner?" It's 8pm and he's been home all day. With that comment, the dirty laundry is staring at me, the dog that has needed a bath for days is in my face, and I start to silently fume. The last thing I feel like doing is argue so I just tell him I'm not hungry. He reminds me that we are on a diet and we need to eat supper to keep up with the plan. I say the famous "Well I don't care what we have" and then escape to the shower for some peace. As I"m getting out, I smell something coming from the kitchen. I eat my noodles in silence and then head to bed. 

Things I"ve learned from marriage:

-Men cannot read your mind, and 99% of the time do not get your hints. You must explain things clearly.

-If you explain things clearly, or leave lists it's perceived as nagging and bossy. 

-Either way there is usually an argument that follows. 

Now it seems like we argue a lot- mainly because we do argue a lot. We argue about food, we argue about who's not listening to the other one, we argue about laundry, we argue about visiting family, we argue about things we forget, we argue about kids we don't have, we argue about house hunting...the list goes on. 

Things I"ve learned from marriage:
-Arguing (disagreeing and passionately stating our sides of things) is okay.

-Fighting (screaming irrelevant, hurtful things at each other) is not okay.

-Praying, listening and putting yourself in the other person's shoes is when a solution usually occurs. 

Oh and

- Men don't actually pee on the toilet, the amazing man-power at which the stream enters the toilet causes it to splash on the side, the lid, the floor, etc. 

-Men can also scrub toilets. 

All of this to say: 

Marriage is tough! I don't know how the rest of the years will go. But I do know I can't wait to find out! All of the dirty laundry and the arguments cannot compare to the laughter, the unending love and joy you get from marrying your best friend. 

My really close friends, and especially my sister know how "creative" my taste in clothes and accessories can be.  

Even as a child I have always had an interesting view on fashion...

Dress up was one of my favorite games. My sister, cousin, and I would wear hats, and mom's old jewelry, and have a ball pretending we were princesses and having tea parties. My mom bought old bridesmaid dresses with huge puff sleeves for us to play dress up in. We walked around the house like we were straight off the runway. 

This is a picture from Halloween in Junior High. Brandi and I found these green knit pants in my great grandma's house after she passed and we were sorting through her things. We wore them for pajamas every night for months. I'm pretty sure my mom finally burned them. 

In high school, I wore all kinds of bright obnoxious accessories, concert tees, and my favorite pink Chuck Taylors, adorned with my own artwork covering the bottom. When most of my friends were wearing American Eagle and Gap I had braces, bad hair, and nerd written all over me.  Kyle's favorite memory of me in high school is when I was skipping down the hall by myself singing "Sadie Hawkins Dance" by Relient K. He said I was weird back then. I can't argue that. 

 My family says, if it's ugly, Jill will like it. It started with my moccasins. Yes, you know which ones. I found my moccasins several years ago at a rummage sale for $2 thinking they were the most awesome shoes I've ever seen. I"ve worn them ever since and somewhere along the line, they caught on and now I see them on feet everywhere. They're still my favorite pair.

Today, I've been prancing around my house in trousers. I mean, pleated, loose, capri trousers. I got them from Old Navy for $6 thinking..."I could make these work."  I can just hear my family saying, "Jill those look ugly." And as I'm walking around Kyle is still giving me the "You are weird look".  I guess some things just never change......

House Hunting in my Dreams

Since we've decided to starting looking for our "Dream Home", I have been literally dreaming of homes.

We looked at a house we really liked that had 16 acres with it. We loved the property, but it was an older house, that we had a few concerns about so we had our dad's come over and look. After a close inspection we weighed the pros/cons and decided with all the "what if's" and updating this house needed, we would have to lower the price quite a bit to make up for it. As we were weighing it over in our minds that night, I fell asleep and woke up remembering this dream:
We had bought a huge blue house (on the same property we had been looking at with the 16 acres) and we were moving our things into the house and trying to dream up a plan to make the rooms work the way we wanted them to. There was a huge basement (which the house didn't have) and all the rooms were changing while we were trying to fit things in, We couldn't get our furniture in and our parents were there trying to help and be encouraging and it just wasn't working with the space we had. 
When I woke up, I looked again at all the pictures of the house and without telling Kyle my dream, we decided we didn't love the house enough to go through the trouble of all the updating it needed. We decided to let the property go, not make an offer, and keep looking. I'm still glad we made that decision.

I just woke up from a nap where I had a rather amusing dream:
I was in the living room of our house a few years down the road. We had a huge St. Bernard dog named Beethoven. He was laying on the couch on his back and I was petting his belly. He got off the couch and looked at me and then looked at his own back. So I hopped on like it was completely normal. We rode around the living room, which had a big fireplace.  Kyle poked his head in the door. He gave me a look like, "Aren't you a little old for that?" I replied to his look by shrugging my shoulders and saying, "What? I still fit."  He laughed at me and went on about his business. 
When I woke up, I told Kyle this and he said it didn't sound like a dream, it sounded like real life. I said then it must be a sign......... So we are adding a fireplace and enough space for Beethoven to our wish list. :)

So many times my friends have said, "What did I do before I had kids? I don't even remember!" Well as you go through this blog, maybe a memory will be sparked and you can get a glimpse of the former you. 

I announced last night that I was going to be sleeping in late on this Saturday morning. 

 I have been annoyed at my alarm clock all week. Hitting the snooze and finally getting up at 7:15 to rush to work. (Those of you with kids are laughing at me, but yes, 7:15 was early to you at some point in your life). I spent my night taking a long bubble bath, then Kyle volunteered to go pick up something for dinner. (Yes, they offered to do things occasionally). He got back with Penn Station and we watched the movie Marley & Me on TV. We spent the whole time looking at Lola that was sleeping and making comments about how cute she was and watching Tiny Ninja, our turtle who escaped his tank earlier this week. We're waiting for him to try again. We stayed up to watch another movie and then headed to bed. I nagged Kyle about whether or not he brushed his teeth because I didn't remember seeing him do it and sometimes he forgets. Since I'm the one that cleans his teeth, I always win that one. But then I vaguely remember him interrupting a love part of Marley & Me with the sound of his loud brushing so I let him off the hook tonight. I settle in to bed thinking about how great my pillow feels on my head and how glad I am it's the weekend. 

I toss and turn all night, which seems to be the running theme lately and then I'm wide awake at 5:00am. I look at the clock and am not surprised. This happens to me a lot when I have the audacity to think I'm going to sleep in. Kyle grunts and rolls over, annoyed that I'm moving. I hear Lola stirring under the bed and then a big sigh. I guess I"m on my own this morning. I decide to take advantage of the quiet and spend a long time in prayer about the house hunt we're starting today. Finally at 7:00 my alarm goes off and startles me. I guess I wouldn't be sleeping in anyway, I forgot to turn off my alarm. By this time I'm wide awake, playing on my iPod and daydreaming of how I could decorate my new house. I look over, Kyle is still dead asleep. At this point, I wonder if my body is telling me I'm ready to have kids. I am 25 and have grey hairs already. I ate 10 rainbow cookies one day this week so I have the cravings part down. I already clean up poop, nag about teeth brushing, and am never caught up on laundry. My body may be ready, but I'm sure not! I shake the thought and go back to fun things, like hosting parties in my new house.

 I am spending the rest of the morning on my porch, drinking coffee and listening to birds, while writing this blog and watching Lola throw her rope toy to herself because I'm too busy to play fetch. Kyle just walked out with his coffee to join me. He says "Hey I thought you were sleeping in this morning."  Sigh. 

This ends the blog portion and goes on to the prayer request portion:

Kyle and I have decided we are possibly ready to start a house hunt. Now, we do everything slow. We were "just friends" for months before we dated. Dated for 4 years before we got married and then waited another 2 months to live together (although not by choice). We budget our money very closely before making big purchases. It took us a year to finally decide on a patio set. So buying a house before Kyle officially gets his job is a strange notion to us. However, we have been crunching numbers, going on the pros/cons and have decided to at least start looking at places that interest us. We aren't looking for your typical starter home. We both grew up in the country and aren't enjoying being cramped in our little yard. Although we love our neighbors, we need some elbow room. We are planning on this being our home for a long time with room to grow our family. (Which yes, will also take us a long time to get to so don't get your hopes up yet). So, with us both being tightwads and overthinkers, I'm not sure how this will go. So I've decided to leave it to God and  just pray that our decision is clear for us. I'm also a big dreamer so every house to me seems to be perfect. Which is another thing I"m praying for-my dreams to not get too big and out of the realm of reality. So, if you guys would, please pray for guidance as we start this journey to finding our home sweet home. And don't worry, you'll all be invited over to a party as soon as we get it.......a painting party that is!

Street Smart Kitten vs. Dog Who Acts Like a Person

Yesterday I tried to force the dog and cat to be friends. They had previously only interacted by stare downs taking place across the room. I told Lola to be nice and to give the kitty kisses. She wasn't really sure at first.

  But since she's good at obeying, she went for it.

  Now they seem to be the best of friends. I think Lola could befriend a Grizzly Bear if we let her.

They have been chasing each other all over the house all night tonight. As I'm typing this, Lola just walked in the room and looked at me. The little kitten trailed right behind her and did the same. Then they both ran off.

 Lola is going to be very sad when I take her playmate to my mom's house where she's going to be staying.  I wish we could get a replacement kitty but my allergies have went haywire since stray kitty arrived. Looks like we'll have to find a different playmate for Lola.


                                                       

Oh.

Things are always more clear once you put them in writing.
Looking back at my last post, I can see very clearly why the bathroom scale has been acting up and why my summer wardrobe seems to have shrunk since last season. I guess I will have to stop blaming the dryer and start blaming the real culprit......nice relatives with their gift cards. Shame on you!

Mood vs. Food

As I reflect on my day, I've found there is a clear correlation between my mood and my food. 

       This morning, as nearly every morning, I have this clear plan in my head to get up and jog. That is why for over a year now my alarm goes off at 5:45am and continues to buzz until 7:00am. Now some mornings, I have that dream. You know which one. The one where you get up, shower, brush your teeth, and have a relaxing morning and leave for work. Then as the door closes you startle to wake up realizing you haven't really done any of those things and you must start all over, only this time you've overslept.

      Today was not that morning. I knew very good and well that I was awake and instead of getting up to jog, I was just lying there. Somehow in the midst of thinking about how I should jog before church , I realize that I've missed my window and I am running late for church. Kyle is supposed to give me an occasional shout out of our countdown to keep me on schedule. However he forgets this but informs me that we need to go now because by the time I "dilly daddle" my way to the door it will be time to leave. As I'm walking out the door, I tell him that I don't "dilly daddle". Shortly followed by "Oh but I forgot to grab my Bible and I think I need to pee." He's waiting in the car while I'm mumbling something about him playing video games and not making me a cup of coffee. By the time we get home from church I'm hungry and tired and in a great mood for an argument. 

      Argument resolved and we decide to head to Illinois to swap my car back with my family and take a hike to Garden of the Gods. We fill up with gas and grab McDonald's on the way out of town. As we order, I clearly state that I want a classic grilled sandwich. As we're heading off, I open the bag and my little cardboard box says crispy not grilled. And what is in the box? None other than a crispy sandwich. A demon rushes into my body and has a full-on 2 year old child tantrum. It sounded something like "CRISPY?!! I SAID GRILLED!!" Then a noise,sounding somewhere between a lion's roar and a train whistle, came out of my small, ladylike mouth. It was accompanied by a full body shudder and my hands raised in fists. I'm not sure exactly what came over me. Kyle said he has never seen anything like it. Maybe it was years of getting lettuce put on my food, when I request otherwise,or maybe it was the lack of food in my system. I"m not sure, but as I'm going on and on about crispy chicken making me sick, and how easy it must be to read a screen and put what the screen says into a bag, Kyle turns around and waits in the car while I walk back into McDonalds. Now, I'm a polite person, so I walk in and calmly ask to get the grilled sandwich I ordered. The manager, very nicely asks her cook to make me another one, apologizes and I say "No problem" and prance happily to the car with my grilled chicken. 

       As the day wears on, we reach a point where we are debating our supper. Sometimes this is an argument in itself.  We decide to go to Outback since we have a giftcard. I am a little nervous. What if something goes wrong and my tantrum goes public? What if they put lettuce on my food? Our waitress is very nice and substitutes green beans for me instead of seasonal veggies, which in most cases is broccoli that I choke down because I paid for it. My steak is cooked to perfection, my green beans are steamed fresh, and my baked potato is delicious. I purposely save half of my steak and green beans and a little corner of my potato so I can take them home and enjoy them for lunch tomorrow. As we're driving home into the sunset, Kyle gives me a huge grin as my hair blows in the wind from our doorless Jeep and I sit clutching my small take home container for dear life. I close my eyes and soak in the happy ending to my day.